Hi guys! As you know I am getting married this coming October. I don't really have much of a place to vent now since everyone and their grandma has facebook. So here it goes ...

All girls dream of their wedding day. The dress, the groom, the place and your father walking you down the aisle. This latter part is a bit of a issue in my family. Everyone here knows that my dad has multiple sclerosis. Over the last two years it has gotten progressively worse. He almost completely bound to his scooter and can barely walk 10 ft from the couch to the bathroom.

All I ever wanted was for him to WALK me down the aisle and feel like he has given up on that. He refuses to walk around the house or even try to walk short distance to keep up his muscle tone. He goes to PT but then he is out of work for a day because he can barely move. He keeps saying "Steph I am going to walk with even if it kills me", "Stephanie I WILL walk". To me it seems like I'm being let on. There is no way he will be able to do it. The aisle is 15 feet long. I just want him to realize that he might have to just scoot me down. Which is fine if that is how it has to be. The other night when I was talking to my mom about it she suggested we "strategically place the men in my family along the aisle to help dad if he gets wobbley" or the best one " We'll have Uncle Frank walk behind a couple feet with his wheeley". Great. We have to strategically plan to get dad down the aisle. Who does that? Now forget the father daughter dance. I doubt that will happen the way a little girl dreams eteither. Last time I danced with my dad (this past Nov. at my parent renewal) I had to literally hold him up. How the hell am I going to do that in a 35 pound dress, with a train and in heels??

I know some of this sounds awful but if you lived my life for a day you would understand. It is so hard to watch the man that raised you, played soccer with you, took you bowling, walked with you at the park, and let you dance on his shoes at your communion succumb to such a terrible and debilitating disease process. Yes I am lucky enough to have my father at my wedding. But watching all my friends get married this year I can't help but feel a twinge of jealously. Their fathers can walk. They don't have to plan things out to have it revolve around their father. I know my family will be looking at me when I walk down the aisle but they will all have a though in the back of their heads "Is Nick gunna make it?".

It is just so unbelievably frustrating. I really don't want to sound like a whiny brat. No one thinks when they are 8 and planning their wedding in their pj's that something like this would be thrown in the ring. I love my father to pieces. I am SO happy and SO lucky that I still have him in my life. I am very greatfull for that.

Welp. That's my rant. Sorry for the poor paragraphing. haha.

Oh, sweetie - I can totally understand your frustration.  I wish I could offer some advice, but I want you to know that my thoughts are with you, and I am confident you will be able to find a solution.  Congratulations, though, sweetie.  I can't wait to see pictures.  You are in my thoughts.

Steph - your dad may be the uncomfortable focus of your walk up the aisle, but you will undoubtedly be the focus of your walk back down it! Remember that walk up is all about your father and your relationship.

I wish he were doing more to ensure his success, but try to that the way he copes with his disease doesn't have anything to do with how much he loves you. When my dad was sick, I remember being really disappointed at how little he would do, or how he seemed to will himself into depression… but that's just his response to his illness. Try not to make it "mean" anything about you.

When I was little, I always worried about how my family would complicate my wedding. My mom's mom disowned her, in favor of my father after the divorce. She had no family, so the thought of them all together in a church with my mom alone on one side and my dad, gram'ma and step mom on the other was just awful.

Then my gram'ma died. Then my mom was diagnosed with an early-onset alzheimer's-like disorder. Then my dad died.

And now I don't have anything to worry about. Plenty of room for whatever messed up in-law situation might be coming down the pike. But I'd give anything to be stuck sorting out my ridiculous family.

Your dad will probably get down the aisle on pure adrenaline. But if he doesn't, he'll still be in the church. And for that, you are a lucky girl. :)