sorry. i feel really melodramatic, but i'm just so tired of struggling and i'm about to fold.

i don't know what that means… probably just that i'm going to stop getting out of bed. it'll probably take the mortgage and the bills a few months to catch up with me.

i'm beyond broke. the holidays are bumming me out. family doesn't exist. friends are bailing.
i've got so much on my plate and the people that are supposed to be helping me are making it worse.

i'm ready to lose what's left, but i just don't know what to do once it's gone. i feel like i'm just watching it go.

Well, I think everyone's been there at some point. If it's any consolation, I have at least one period like that every year.

Any advice I can give will sound cliche, but… since the section is called "advice"...

Think of your life as a big, stringy knot of shit. The kind that makes those annoying knots in your shoelaces look easy.

The key to unraveling a great stringy shit-knot is to take baby steps. If you just start ripping at the knot, nothing much happens. Or, if you look at the shit-knot and think it's just too big of a shit-knot to deal with, nothing much happens there either.

But if you can trace one snag at a time, gradually going back to where it's hung up and slowly extracting each piece, pretty soon… the knot starts to come apart by itself.

Pick one thing that's bothering. Just one. The money situation, or the friend situation, or maybe the work situation. But make sure you're focusing on JUST ONE THING AT A TIME. Now, trace it back to its root. Figure out how it got there, and take some steps to change it.

It may not come out the way you want it it, but just the act of trying to figure it out can yield positive results.

Maybe that's overly simplistic, but you have to be able to try everything before you can just give up.

Get help.  Please. Anywhere you can find it.

I agree. You need to talk to someone and soon. Maybe they can help with reorganizing your finances and talking about working on postive things in your life.

Just remember…we care. No matter what.

I'm, begrudgingly, better. Sometimes I have to freak out a little bit to rebound. And I am actively seeking help, which is why the whole continuing to fall apart thing is driving me crazier. I made $65 today before taxes.

I am certainly learning all of these things, but I needed to hit rock-bottom first.  I don't recommend taking that path, however.  I think what Jeff said is totally true, but sometimes it is beyond difficult to be able to trace whatever origin may be there.  Just remember, no matter what happens you are a valuable person who has people who love you.  It may feel like you are falling apart, but as Wilson-Philips said, "Just hold on for one more day."  It will all come together eventually - and you totally want to be on earth when it does.  I wish you the best of luck and can totally relate to everything you are feeling.

I hope that you're doing better.  As someone who suffers from depression, I want you to know that you truly aren't alone ... and I have been in that place (your first post) a few times.  Things do have a way of straightening out, though.